It all has to do with the concept of “grounded cognition,” the idea that bodily and sensory stimulation can influence metaphorically associated judgments, says study author Irene Xun Huang of the Chinese University of Hong Kong. If someone’s behaviors align with your own—say you’re both physically traveling in the same direction—it can make the feelings of striving for the same goal more salient in peoples’ minds. Still, if you have to make the rush-hour trek alone, here are five tips bound to keep your relationship strong—and on the right track.
- Share a chuckle. In the language of love, laughter is key. Reminiscing about inside jokes can give you a bigger boost of satisfaction than recalling a laugh you had on your own, according to a study from Appalachian State University. More importantly, the shared laughter doesn’t have to stem from positive circumstances. So go ahead, laugh together about that time you face-planted on the sidewalk or made a major faux pas at a family function. (Laughter’s good for dealing with pain, too! See The Weird Way To Beat Anxiety And Depression)
- Try a foursome. No, not that kind. We’re talking about a double date. Friendships with other couples can help solidify your relationship, finds new research from the University of Maryland. The reason: Seeing your boyfriend or husband being at his best socially can make him more attractive to you and reveal new aspects of his personality. Interacting with another couple can also give you a model of what to strive for (the way they complete each others sentences) or what to avoid (the way they bicker), according to the study.
- Compliment him. In the long run, small gestures mean the most, according to a 25-year study funded by the National Institutes of Health. The study, which followed 373 married couples for a quarter of a century, found that those who gave affective affirmations regularly were the happiest. “Give compliments, offer encouragement, and use subtle gestures like handholding,” suggests study author Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. “It shows your partner that you notice them and you don’t take them for granted.”
- Deepen Your conversation. When was the last time you talked about anything other than the kids, work, or household chores? Knowing more about your partner in four key areas—friends, stressors, life dreams, and values—can increase overall happiness, according to a National Institutes of Health study. In fact, 98% of the happy couples in the study said they intimately knew and understood their partners. Your move: “Ask about a happy memory from childhood, to name the three worst songs of all time, or what his favorite movie is and why,” says Orbuch. (Feel like you’re not being heard? Here’s how to Get Your Guy To Listen.)
- Shake things up. Playing hooky won’t always land you in hot water, so skip the same old, same old and fight your way out of a relationship rut by adding variety to a vanilla routine. “Skip work and do something fun together, like visiting a museum or tourist spot nearby,” Orbuch says. “Take a water-skiing class, and swing your pelvis at a dance workshop.” This article originally ran on Men’s Health