When I was growing up in Cedar Falls, IA, I was fascinated with nature. As a child, I was always trying to rescue animals. My parents noticed my interests and encouraged me to become a doctor. Although I wondered if that profession would be right for me, I pursued a career in medicine, thinking I’d earn an adequate income and be able to work a family-friendly schedule. MORE: 5 Signs You’ve Been In Your Job Too Long—And How To Find A New One You’ll Actually Enjoy In reality, medicine turned out to be brutally hard work, and my first attempt at family life was a mess. By the time I turned 35, I was divorced with two young kids: a 1-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son who had been diagnosed with autism a few months earlier. Unable to communicate, he threw tantrums for hours every day. At the same time, my solo ob-gyn practice kept me on call 24/7, and I’d often have to find child care at the last minute so I could run to the hospital to deliver someone’s baby. While I loved my kids and thrived on helping my patients, I was overwhelmed, undersupported, and completely sleep deprived. (These 7 key tips for women on how to change a career at any age could transform your life.) I remember crying on the phone to my mom, feeling as though I was hanging on by a thread. Friends and family would tell me to take care of myself, but how was I supposed to do that? I barely had 5 minutes to shower, let alone go for a hike, get a massage, or practice yoga. Eliminate stress in minutes with this simple yoga pose: Eventually, I started to resent being a doctor. I’d look out the window during appointments and long to be outdoors, but I couldn’t figure out how to balance that desire with my career and family responsibilities. Channeling my yearning for change in a different direction, I decided to renovate my house. A sweet, sensitive man named Dave showed up to do the work, and I felt an instant connection and a deep desire to learn more about him. While the rational side of me thought, It’s too soon; single moms shouldn’t date their contractors, I decided to ignore the voice and trust my gut. Little did I know that meeting Dave would be life-changing. PREVENTION PREMIUM: How To Start Dating Again After Loss With three grown children of his own, Dave had practice being a parent. He was openhearted and available. My kids adored him. After a year and a half of dating, we decided to combine our families and get married. Our life together was happy and loving. I still worked crazy hours and had little time to get outside, but Dave owned his business and had a flexible schedule that allowed him to help out with the kids. We had work and family under control—until we didn’t. Two years into our marriage, Dave was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. All of a sudden, I was thrust into the role of caregiver for a man I loved—a role that would change my life again. (Discover the simple, natural solution that can help you reverse chronic inflammation and heal more than 45 diseases. Try The Whole Body Cure today!) When we flew to Houston for a 2-day consultation at MD Anderson Cancer Center, I got a glimpse of a progressive way of practicing medicine. The hospital used conventional techniques but also had a center that offered complementary therapies like massage and meditation to de-stress patients and boost their well-being. The center intrigued me, and I felt a pull toward the idea of natural healing. But as Dave continued to battle cancer, I had no time to contemplate my next career move and pushed the idea aside. Two years after that, the pull became impossible to ignore. While attending a medical conference, I heard physician Andrew Weil [a Prevention columnist] give a talk on integrative medicine, which combines conventional and alternative approaches. For the first time, I realized how much science there was to support holistic healing. I was excited about learning to treat my patients’ ailments more naturally—and hopeful that I might discover more options for my husband and my son. PREVENTION PREMIUM: 20 Doctor-Recommended Natural Remedies For Everyday Ailments When I told Dave I wanted to enroll in the 2-year fellowship at Weil’s University of Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine, he encouraged me to drop everything and do it. By then, we were both keenly aware that life is too short not to follow your heart. Besides, following my gut worked with Dave, I thought. Maybe it could work with my career, too. Of course, making the change was far easier said than done: Besides adding intense home study to my hectic schedule, the program would also require me to make regular trips to Tucson. By the time I started, Dave was in hospice care, and I was administering his IV meds every few hours. “I can’t leave you,” I told him. “That’s OK,” he said. “I’m going with you.” We packed up Dave’s oxygen machine and headed to Tucson for a week of study while my mom watched the kids. At the center, I took courses in nutrition, herbal medicine, and whole medical systems such as Chinese medicine, Ayurveda, and Native American healing. I taught Weil’s breathing techniques to Dave, and they calmed his anxiety when his lungs were struggling for air. (Lung cancer is the number one killer of men and women in the US—make sure to look out for these surprising symptoms.) I’ll never forget placing my hands on the sides of his face and looking deep into his eyes as he struggled to match my slow, deep breaths. It relaxed us both and deepened our connection. MORE: What It’s Like To Lose The Love Of Your Life—And To Find Your Way Back From Grief We never had time to try other things. Three weeks after we returned from Arizona, Dave passed away. I was overwhelmed with grief, as were his kids and mine, but knowing that even the short time we’d spent together had enhanced both of our lives gave me some comfort. The day before he died, Dave encouraged me to do what made me truly happy. He wanted me to leave my current job and find a balance between work and play, science and nature, helping others and healing myself. Soon after the funeral, I took Dave’s advice and quit my job without a plan for the future. I didn’t know it at the time, but that plan would eventually include changing the direction of my practice to one with an integrative focus, prescribing breathing techniques, mindfulness, and proper nutrition to patients as well as advising them to get outside. I hold regular “walk and bike with a doc” events and lead workshops in forest bathing, which involves taking groups on slow walks in which we mindfully approach and interact with the trees, rocks, and streams we find in the woods. I tell them how the practice has been proven to lower stress levels and boost the immune system. So far, my patients have responded well: I went from writing 150-plus prescriptions a week to writing about five per week. I also started taking my own advice. I practice yoga, mountain bike daily, and no longer let work dominate my weekends. I’m remarried to a great guy named Joe, who shares my values and enables me to practice what I preach. I’m healthier and less stressed, which makes me a happier woman and a better doctor and parent. MORE: 16 Natural Ways To Relieve Your Anxiety People often comment on the gift I gave Dave by being there for him in his final years, but I know the truth: I’m the one who was lucky. As difficult as his death was, it gave me the courage to embrace the instinct I’d ignored for many years. I’m finally pursuing the life I truly want. Get a Daily Dose of Forest Bathing Though it’s not always possible to drop everything and head for the woods, you can enjoy the feeling of forest bathing—and reap some of its stress-relieving, mood-boosting benefits—without traveling very far at all, says Amos Clifford, founder of the Association of Nature and Forest Therapy Guides and Programs. (Here’s what happened when one woman tried forest bathing.) Try these three techniques. Look around Simply observing nature can reduce levels of damaging stress hormones such as cortisol, according to Japanese researchers. Clifford suggests positioning your desk in front of a window with a view of trees outside or taking a few moments to gaze out the kitchen window while you wash dishes. PREVENTION PREMIUM: 3 Healing Therapies That Rely On The Incredible Power Of Nature Breathe in Studies have found that the subtle aromas of cedar, pine, and other evergreens induce relaxation. To re-create those scents indoors, Clifford advises using a diffuser filled with a woodsy essential oil. Avoid room sprays, air fresheners, and scented plug-ins, as many contain harmful chemicals. Get outside Take a short walk in the middle of the day. Notice the grass, birds, flowers, and shrubs you pass by, says Clifford. Better yet, find a tree you like and become familiar over time with its natural cycles. Spending time outdoors reduces sympathetic nerve activity and contributes to an overall sense of calm.
